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THE TOP TEN
Top 10 reasons why all squirrels must die
1. Squirrels are the
spawn of Satan. They live mysterious lives in the forests plotting
against the rest of the world.
2. Squirrels cause
millions of dollars of damage to power transformers and lines every year. They are one of the top causes of power outages
and damage to very expensive equipment. They seem to be attracted to
transformers and fly into them like Kamikaze pilots.
3. Squirrels have killed
innocent citizens by causing car wrecks throughout the years. How many times have innocent automobile drivers barely avoided running
off the road trying to miss (or to hit) a squirrel taunting them in the
middle of the road? Some are not so lucky and wreck due to these furry
little beasts.
4. Squirrels do millions
of dollars worth of home damage. They are masters of break-ins destroying siding,
vents, wires, etc. in the process.
5. Squirrels have no
respect for privacy or property rights. They move into attics and will not leave. They are
not invited. An attic is not an oak tree, and they know this. They are
too lazy to build their own homes so they try to take over someone
else's. They move around in the attic at night scaring young kids and
women.
6. Squirrels are
notorious thieves, stealing food and property from other animals and
people. They are the most skilled thieves on the planet.
They are despised by birds lovers They steal nuts from bird feeders and
fruits from trees. When measures are taken to prevent them from getting
the prize, they try that much harder.
7. Squirrels assault
people's gardens all over the world causing millions of dollars in crop
damage. They get into people's gardens and destroy the
vegetables, fruits, and flowers. They rarely even consume them, they
just destroy them for the fun of it.
8. Squirrels caused the
black death in Europe and currently carry numerous life threatening
diseases including rabies and bubonic plague. It is a historic fact that squirrels, as well as
their brothers the rats, were one of the carriers of the black plague in
the Middle Ages throughout Europe leading to the horrible death of
millions.
9. Squirrels are the most
reprehensible animals on the planet and will strike any other
animal or human they come in contact with. There are countless documented accounts of
squirrel assaults. They antagonize people and are formidable foes. It is
no accident that squirrels are portrayed in film as they are, insane
little creatures that do not think anything of taking on people.
10. Squirrels kill
and castrate other squirrels. Naturalists have discovered an alarming behavior
among certain squirrels. A Male squirrel will invade the tree of an
enemy squirrel and bite off the nuts of the young in the nest. |