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The New Master Race
During World War II, Adolf Hitler
proposed a master race comprised of blond haired, blue eyed Aryans that
would take over the Earth. We defeated Hitler in 1945 and crushed his
dreams of a new world. But now there is a new master race, whose quest
for world domination is moving at a frightening pace.
The new master race is known as
the Gray squirrels. They are bloodthirsty dark angels of destruction and
they're knowledge of Guerrilla, Urban, and Communications Warfare are
unmatched in the modern world. They are perfect examples of the
destructive nature of the wild world. They invade our gardens, homes,
and our lives.
When it comes to biological
warfare the squirrel has an arsenal of deadly biological agents at their
disposal, including Rabies, Plague, and a variety of parasites, such as
fleas, ticks and worms. They infect our food supplies and attack our
pets. They are the number one removers of house cat tails, using their
razor-like incisors to amputate the most vulnerable part of the domestic
cats anatomy. Gray squirrels are also engaging in a secret campaign of
terrorism against various species of song birds, by invading their
nests, eating their eggs and infiltrating their feeding stations.
The only solution to this growing
problem is armed confrontation.
Unfortunately their numbers are
impossible to document, and their ability to cut communications by
biting through power lines kills any chance of engaging them in a
conventional warfare type situation.
The only thing we can do is
continue our war against them through propaganda and support groups. We
could also start militia groups that can teach citizens how to protect
themselves and their property.
Until then all we can do is pray
and hope that someday our children will not have to salute a flag with
an acorn on it, instead of stars and stripes.
Adam
Weymouth, Mass.
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