All Squirrels Must Die!

If you thought you had heard of wacky squirrel lovers before, wait until you hear about this guy from of Vienna, Va.

According to MSNBC, a man was arrested for discharging a firearm in a public place and cruelty to animals after he killed a hawk he claimed was threatening a squirrel that he had become obsessed with. Apparently the crazed 66-year-old coot threw a crowbar at the bird first before getting an antique shotgun and shooting it, claiming he was protecting the tree-rat.

We at the SDL find this news reprehensible. This seems to be typical behaviour from some that claim to be animal lovers. When it comes to nature and animals acting like animals and fulfilling the food chain, they feel the need to intervene. In nature, hawks are higher on the food than rodents. Hawks are birds of prey. By trying to stop them from eating, this weirdo is the worst type of “animal lover” there is. Not only does he actually hate animals, he apparently dislikes the majestic hawk so much that he enjoys illegally killing it. Next time he feels like killing an animal, we suggest he look for a bushy tail and fire away.

Looks like squirrels are at it again in the UK.

According to Sky News, one of the furry rodents recently set fire to a former attorney general’s home.

We know that squirrels like to invade houses and cause damage, but we haven’t heard of one setting one on fire before. We believe this was a targeted attack on this former British politician, no doubt retribution for the bounty parliament has put on squirrel heads.

This brazen act must not go unanswered.

From Sky’s Web site:

The rodents are believed to have gnawed their way through cables, sparking the blaze at the property belonging to former MP Lord Mayhew on Wednesday afternoon.

Firefighters battled the flames for almost two hours at the two-storey cottage in Goudhurst, near Cranbrook, Kent, currently inhabited by tenants.

Lord Mayhew told the Kent Messenger: “The fire broke out in a void behind an airing cupboard and the most probable cause was squirrels chewing through cables.”

A spokeswoman for Kent Fire and Rescue Service estimated about 90% of the first floor and roof void had been “severely damaged”.

“The rest of the property was damaged by smoke and heat,” she said.

But Lord Mayhew said he was confident restoration of the 1890s property is possible.

Four rescue crews attended the fire at 12.39pm.

No one was injured in the blaze.

The spokeswoman added that the cause of the fire was as yet unknown but squirrels chewing wires, and the wires igniting, “does sometimes happen”.

Why are squirrels causing so many problems in Britannia? It was not reported what kind of squirrel the arsonist was, but there is little doubt it was a gray. England has been battling the gray squirrel invasion for many years, and it looks like the grays are striking back.

It seems like squirrels have disrupted a Christmas charity celebration in Bath, England, costing the sponsoring organization a lot of money.

According to the Bath Chronicle newspaper, squirrels destroyed 2,000 Christmas lights on the fundraising Tree of Lights of the Rotary Club of Bath, costing the club £1,000 ($1,500). Is there any question why squirrels hate Christmas? They are clearly jealous of all the trees being cut down and all the nuts being consumed by people instead of them.

And who can forget the classic scene in “Christmas Vacation” when a rabid squirrel enters the Griswold’s home on Christmas and then attacks Clark and his family.

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